Sexual Dysfunction is a serious issue

25 Jan

After you have kids, it just ain’t like it used to be.  No if, ands, or buts about it.  I just had the best discussion about this.  And by best, I mean most hysterical.  And probably TMI.  So I thought I would share.   Because, you know, TMI is never really TMI on the interwebz.

Backstory:  How did this conversation even start?  Good question.  A friend just was diagnosed with Post Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD).  For those of you unfamiliar with this diagnosis, it causes women to become raging bi-polar bitches right before their period rears its ugly head each month.  Not pretty.  Anyways, her doctor recommended going on Prozac that time of the month to keep her from crying over cake.  Literally.  These are her words.  She was concerned that the Prozac might zap her sex drive.  Hence the discussion of this topic.

I’ve removed names….  You know, protecting the innocent….

Friend with PMDD:  I think I need Prozac to help me.  And I hope I don’t have sex drive issues with it like I did when I was on Zoloft.  I’m a mess. Seriously bawled over cake last month. I’m fine the rest of the month.

Friend 1:  But cake is important!

Friend 2:  When I was on Prozac my sex drive was great.

Friend 3: Haha I need Prozac then!!! My sex drive is in the toilet.

Friend 2:  IDK what is up with me, but we’ve been doing it 2-3 times a week.  Once a week used to be good.  I have to say hubby is good in bed. Really, really good. Sorry, that was TMI.

Friend 3:  LOL that’s great!  I’m pretty sure we past TMI a long time ago.

Friend with PMDD: We try and do it every day, but I’d say we average about 3- 4 times a week. I’m hoping the Prozac helps with that 2 weeks of PMS so we can get back in the groove. I want sex but don’t want to be touched if that makes sense.

Friend 2:  Every day? That seems like so much work!

Friend 3: With me getting home at midnight and him getting up at 6 am 5 days a week, every day just isn’t happening here lol. I aim for once a week.

Friend 4:  If it felt good we would do it everyday, but I deal with it every other day because it is important for him.  I just hate that I no longer enjoy it.

Friend 1 : Maybe it is the breastfeeding making you not want it.  Do you just not want it or does it hurt?

Friend 4:   It hurts,  but I would love to have it.

Friend 1: It might be from nursing then.  I know other people have had that issue.

Friend 2: Oh, yeah, nursing.  I bet that is it.  It messes with your hormones and makes you dry as a bone. And when your who-ha feels like a dusty closet you don’t feel very sexy.

Friend 2:  Or a spiderweb covered box…

Friend 2:  Or a dried out taco…

Friend 2:  Should I make more horrible analogies?

Friend 1:  At least it isnt like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

Me: This conversation might turn into a blog post. I love you guys.


2 Responses to “Sexual Dysfunction is a serious issue”

  1. mediocremomof3severelyaveragekids January 25, 2013 at 4:02 pm #

    Friend 1: I would share your post because it is hilarious but I dont want my hubby to think we should have sex more. LOL

  2. a friend :) January 25, 2013 at 4:08 pm #

    gosh these friends sounds soo fun!

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