Six kinds of owwies too many…..

16 Jul

Some days my patience is about as long as a grain of rice.  Today (actually all week) has been one of those days.  I just want someone else to take my kids for me and leave me the hell alone.

Why is it that I have the world’s most sensitive child?  And he is injury prone.  To the point of it being extremely obnoxious.  He got occupation therapy as a kid so I know the poor guy has issues, they diagnosed him with dyspraxia which is a disorder where kids have a hard time with spatial awareness of their body.  So it’s not really his fault.  But it still bugs the ever living crap out of me.

Have you experienced these kinds of owwies?

The ongoing owwie.  Every two seconds “OWWWWWWW!  Me have owwie.  Owowowowowowowwow.”  Followed by sobbing and uncontrollable crying.  Lasting upwards of a half hour.  My response (under my breath) “Jesus Christ, you have got to be kidding me”.

The residual owwie.  You know, the one where the kid was fine for the last hour, but then remembers he got a itsy bitsy scratch yesterday and suddenly it is the end of the world.  “MOM!  Look!  Me have owwie!  Me need dandaid!”  Followed by hysterics.  That won’t end until you get a band-aid.  Even though there is no blood and one can barely make out even a scratch.  And then the band-aid last five minutes before they pull it off.

The repeating owwie.  Repeating owwie.  Repeating owwie.  Stems from the residual owwie.  Now that they ripped the band-aid off, they re-discover their owwie and need a new band-aid.  Which then lasts five minutes until it gets ripped off and so on and so on.

Surprise Owwie. On his eye. From his shirt?!?!?! What the hell?

The surprise owwie.  The ones that sneak up on you.  Your kid is sitting still in a zone that is free from any potential owwie causing agents.  And yet they magically get something in their eye or find some other bizarre way to injure themselves.  Today Sawyer managed to get a cut on his eyelid from his shirt.  I shit you not.  We were just trying to get him dressed for school.  Not typically your injury prone activity, but somehow Sawyer found a way.

The self inflected owwie.  The one where you wish you could just say “God dammit you dumb ass, if it hurts you then why don’t you stop doing it?!?!”  But instead you patiently say, “Honey, remember how when you do that it hurts?  Let’s not do that anymore.”

The exaggerated owwie.  Really, at my house, they are usually all exaggerated.  But some border on ridiculousness.  “Nora touched me, Ow! Ow! Ow!”   For the love of god kid, grow a pair.  Put on your big girl panties.

Thanks, I feel better now that I got that out.  What kinds of owwies do you experience at your house?


One Response to “Six kinds of owwies too many…..”

  1. Theresa Frost July 16, 2012 at 6:24 pm #

    Don’t forget the “I told you so” owie. When you warn a kid to not do that, and then they do, and get hurt. “don’t sit on the edge of the couch, I don’t want you to fall….” then they do and inevitably fall and you just want to let them deal with it for not listening to you but you go kiss their owie and remind them as to why we don’t do that.

    Yes the barrage of owies are good reason that some days I want to trade places with my husband who got to go to work that day. (along with sibling fights!)

    Thanks Jana for putting it into words!

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