Detachment Parenting

18 May

Screw Attachment Parenting.  Hello Detachment Parenting.

Who hasn’t heard about the recent Time Magazine cover?  And “Are you Mom Enough”?  The short version of my response to the cover was “whatever”.  My only real issue with it is the sensationalism. I mean really?

I’m fairly familiar with attachment parenting.  Baby wearing, co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding.  I’ve participated in all of these to some extent.  I’m not sure I would define myself as an “Attachment Parent” though.  I supposed I never really bothered to define my parenting in any particular manner.  I’d only judge or define other people’s parenting if their children are streaking into the road in front of traffic.  Or were required to help their parents cook meth.  Otherwise, you’re probably fine and who needs a label anyways?

But today, I read an article and had an epiphany.  I am a Detachment Parent!

This is more like it…..

Hurray for labels!  Yes, this describes me to a T.  Actually, I’m engaging in Detachment Parenting right now.  The kids are doing God knows what as I try to assemble my thoughts into some sort of comprehensible (is that even a word?) bit of writing.

People ask me how I get so much stuff done. Short answer? I ignore my kids. Seriously. How else does one accomplish anything? They can play by themselves and fend for themselves. Even the not quite two year old can find her own snacks most of the time.  And in the morning on a weekend?  I turn the cartoons on, throw them a box of cereal and pray that they’ll leave me alone for just  a few more minutes of divine sleep.

I quit trying to hold up some facade of perfectness a long time ago. If you come to my house, it WILL be a mess. And one, if not all, of my three kids will probably be naked at some point during your visit. We’ll be doing good if none of then decide to defecate or urinate in the house. Since it’s nice out now, they usually manage to roam outside to do it. So we’ve got that going for us.

In all seriousness, why do we feel the need to ascribe labels to ourselves and others?  Why can we not just parent however it works for our families?  Does a label make us feel superior over others?  Can we not just accept that different things work for different people? It’s not a competition.  Home birth vs hospital birth.  Med free vs epidural.  Organic vs traditional produce.  Private school vs public.  Working mom vs stay at home mom.  Rich vs low income.  No media exposure vs unlimited media exposure.

It’s just all ok.  And one person’s choice to do xyz doesn’t make my choice to do the opposite wrong.  Some things just work for some people and other things don’t.  Why are we fighting these mommy battles?  Everyone loses when we do.   Let’s just learn to accept ourselves and others for who they are!  The goal is a healthy children and a functional family and there are many paths to achieve it.  Let us be proud of the path we took!  Isn’t that what we need to focus on?


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