Bottom line – this shit is funny! Funny as POOP.

26 Apr

"If you're easily grossed out, I recommend skipping this entire section....Or maybe getting another book that is less disturbing than this one. Like one about kittens. Or genocide."

I just got this fabulously hysterical book that I started reading today and have been reminded that swearing is awesome.  “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” by Jenny Lawson.  This book is the funniest book I have read in years.  Which doesn’t say much really, since I haven’t read any other books in years.  But you should read it.

And her blog t0o.  http://thebloggess.com/  It’s funny as hell.  And throwing swear words in there seem to make everything even funnier.

Also, my friend Becky’s recent blog post: http://avec-delectation.blogspot.com/2012/04/you-stink-poop.html is just another piece of evidence on how necessary swearing can be.  To quote another friend, Heather, ” Bottom line – this shit is funny! Funny as POOP.”

Enough plugging other people’s blogs and back to my point.  I mean really.  Let’s not pretend we are high brow.  We’re not above swearing.  We’re not pretentious.  No sliver spoons here.  I never had a sweet sixteen party.  The closest I got to a sweet 16 party was getting my fantastic 1982 Renault Alliance when I got my license.  I mean, I should have been happy just to have a car.  But this one was a piece of shit.  You’ve probably never even heard of a Renault Alliance, have you? Two door, red, handle broken off the crank for the window, pile of shit.  In fact, the car was so shitty, that I sabotaged it.  Don’t tell my dad.  The engine kept  leaking oil everywhere.  And the check engine light kept coming on over and over again.  I mean, I did add oil every now and again, but eventually, I just got sick of it.  And the engine blew up.  Then I got to drive my parent’s Corsica so I could get to work.  Another stellar vehicle, but at least a slight step up.  It reminds me of the sweet  burgundy 1995 Ford Escort that my husband is driving right now.  I had to drive that beast to take Griffin home from the Dr’s office after he had his concussion.  And the kid tried to inform me how to roll the window down with the window crank.  Like it was some sort of novelty.  I supposed he had never seen a manual window before?

I digress.  There are so many fantastic uses of swearing.  Billy Madison- “He called the Shit Poop!”.  I mean right there is the making of a classic.  And for some reason Fucking Shit was some sort of saying for my friends in high school.  I can’t remember why.  I’ll have to ask my BFFs Pam and Lynette from back in the day.  And what is funnier than a kid with the mouth of a sailor?  All the hullabaloo about the Modern Family episode where the kid swears?  I don’t get it.  It’s comedic brilliance!

Anyways, from now on, I have decided my writing needs more swearing.  So if you are of more polite and well refined means then myself, perhaps we should part ways.  Otherwise, read on people!

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