I am glad that I am not a dog.

22 Aug

“It’s a dog’s life”.  I never quite understood that saying.  I believe it’s implying that dogs have it good.  But as I watched our dog Ginger give birth to her puppies tonight, I was glad to be human.  As humans, we come to take for granted things like eating off a plate instead of a dog food dish, or, I don’t know, not having to eat our own placentas.   As humans, we have the luxury of things like epidural and not having to lick our children’s asses until they go pee or poop.  Dogs, not so much.  Humans have nurses and doctors to attend to us and our newborns and we don’t have to chew off our own children’s umbilical cord.  There is also something to be said for having just one child at a time as humans typically do rather than having six or seven other children crawling all over and hanging off one’s nipple as we try to birth that final offspring.  Oh, and it’s certainly nicer to give birth on a bed than where our dog decided to deliver.  She crawled under the deck and created a nice little den in the dirt down there.  Deck boards had to be removed in order to extract her.

But I am happy to announce the birth of eight healthy puppies!  Seven females and one male.  Happy birthday puppies!!  And, it’s great to be human!!

Well, hot damn, I guess I was wrong, number nine just arrived.  I thought she was done!  Holy hell, I’m sure glad to only have three kids.

Well, you’ve got to be freaking kidding me.  Just had a tenth.  Eight girls, two boys.  My oh my.

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3 Responses to “I am glad that I am not a dog.”

  1. sonya forseth August 22, 2011 at 6:37 pm #

    When this turns into a book, it will hit the top sellers list in no time at all!!! What a great writer you are.

  2. Laura September 1, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    I’ve been looking for updates on the puppies – How are they doing?

    • mediocremomof3severelyaveragekids September 1, 2011 at 5:19 pm #

      They’re doing great! Fat little pigs. Sawyer has been getting into lots of trouble with them, I’ll have to catch him in the act one of these times and take a picture!

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